Do you have imposter syndrome?
Recently I spoke with a family member who has been running a successful business for quite a long time.
She is always booked well in advance, clients come to her, she doesn’t advertise other than the occasional social media post. Her reviews are amazing and as I said above she is always booked well in advance.
Surprising though – she thinks she is not good enough!
She says to herself – who do you think you are, doing this.
Someone is going to say – What are you doing you shouldn’t be here doing this
She works in an industry where you only get one chance to get it right – The wedding industry! This may have something to do with her worries but chances are it was something she has developed over her life, perhaps something from her childhood etc.
Imposter Syndrome – Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
Do you have imposter syndrome
Are about to do something and you feel like you are a fraud and everyone is going to find out? You are not a fraud, you just feel like one – there is a massive difference!
What can you do?
Firstly – remember that you are not alone, lot’s of people, including famous people feel the same things you are feeling.
Next – Accept the fact that your achievements didn’t occur without YOU.
Focus on doing the task at hand and proving the valued service that you have done before.
Take the time to read the feedback, thank you cards and more that you may receive to help you realise how capable you actually are.
NEVER compare yourself to others. What you see of their work or life is never the full story.
Gratitude – Practice gratitude, have a journal to note down daily the things that you are thankful for.
Remind yourself that nobody belongs here more than you do and when you hold yourself back you will inevitably have regrets.
Realise that there is no one who has all the answers and every time you see an ad online offering you all the answers – It’s a lie!
To beat the imposter syndrome you have to just be yourself because there is no other you!
Quotes from a few people you may recognise:
“The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.” – Tina Fey
“The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something and that any moment now they will discover you. It’s Impostor Syndrome, something my wife Amanda christened the Fraud Police.” – Neil Gaiman
“There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert. How do these people believe all this about me? I’m so much aware of all the things I don’t know.” Dr Chan, Chief of the World Health Organization
“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.” – Michelle Pfeifer
“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.” – Kate Winslett
“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ “ – Maya Angelou
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